Learning how to G.R.O.W - PART 2

Last week we looked at how to formulate our goals and discover what our hearts, as well as our minds, desire for our future lives. Today we’re going to explore the second part of the GROW model, asking what the reality of our current situation is.   Here’s the model again, as a reminder.

Remember to GROW!

G         - Goal (What do you want?) Last time

R          - Reality (Where are you now?) THIS ARTICLE

O         - Options (What could you do?) See next

W        - Will (What will you do?) Seenext

It’s important to explore and set our goals first so that we’re not restricted or limited by our reality, allowing us to dream big and formulate goals that feel exciting, meaningful, and purposeful.  We might explore our values when goal setting and align our hopes with our aspirations and desires. Once we have the big, ultimate goal set as a target we need to take a long hard look at the reality of our situation to sense check it, adapting and adjusting the goal as needs be.

Imagine your ultimate goal is to become an astronaut.  It might not take long to realise that the reality of the situation may make that goal challenging to achieve!  So, the reality here is important to begin to unpick what it is about being an astronaut that excites you and unpick the goal a little to get inside the feeling of it.  Is it the adventure, the unknown, or maybe just the jumpsuit?  You can begin to assess what parts of that goal you’re set on achieving, maybe it’s the status or science behind it that’s intriguing, or the opportunity to travel.  Then you can check to see if there are any blind spots you’ve not considered before, maybe you’re claustrophobic or have a fear of heights!

You’ll need to be objective to gain the optimal insight here. Carefully and slowly assess your goal and the reality of what you feel you can and what you can’t achieve about it. What might need to be changed or altered to allow the goal to be moulded accurately into something both manageable and rewarding to you? What beliefs might you be carrying that may restrict or even sabotage you from reaching that goal?  What fears might you have around it or what unrealistic hopes might you have that could set you up for a fall before you’ve even begun?  This type of objectivity requires a strong sense of self-awareness. To fully know yourself, warts and all! 

“You have a measure of choice over what you are aware of, but what you are unaware of controls you”.

Sir John Whitmore.

Next, see if you can develop a little detachment from the goal for a while. Ask yourself, “What are the factors that have determined this current view”?  See if you can take a step back and see the goal, and yourself, from a bird’s eye view. Look around to see if you can spot any weak points to the plan or even any hidden advantages.  

Once you’ve been both objective and detached, it’s time to go one step further and dive even deeper into the feelings around the goal before you move on to the next step of the GROW model. Sense what the goal feels like using messages from your body to help you.  Does your heart pound when you imagine yourself reaching that goal, what is your gut instinct about it, and what emotions can you detect as you explore it further?

The reality check stage is crucial to be sure you’re not moving forward from a position of a false reality. If you have a goal that you’re passionately committed to, but you don’t see the challenges it presents to you in advance you’re going to hit obstacles to achievement which could lead to disappointment.  It might be at this stage that you want to bring in a professional coach, like myself to help you hone and polish your plan and get you trained for gold!

Next time we’ll explore the Options available to you and see where they take you.

“When the reality is clear, it brings the goals into sharper focus”

Sir John Whitmore