Feeling Stuck, lost or in pieces? Let Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) guide you back to your sense of Self.
One of the most profoundly satisfying and genuinely joyful experiences I have as a psychotherapist is to witness the gentle unfolding and unravelling of a client’s inner world. It’s a beautiful thing to behold and one that I consider myself very fortunate and privileged to experience.
It’s rarely quick or easy and has been hard won by the friction of pain, fear, or pressure experienced by my client. Clients arrive in my room in a state of conscious incompetence. They know they are not coping with life, but they are not yet sure what to do about it or how to help themselves. Feeling trapped in a body or mind you don’t understand can be hugely restrictive and damaging to our health. There’s an inner battle going on that often doesn’t make a lot of sense. We’re conflicted and we don’t know why.
Then, through patiently teasing out the tightly woven threads of an individual’s inner life, we begin to see more clearly what has occurred and what conflicting parts of us have been involved. Knowing this, we move into a state of conscious competence. You know what’s happening, we can see the parts take their various sides and feel the impact of the battle. Slowly, you begin to understand the viewpoint of both sides and why they’ve taken up their positions in the first place. With time, it dawns on you that both sides have a point, and both are fighting for your safety and protection.
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Next, through the powerful balancing and centring force of our inner Self, we begin to step towards a place of unconscious competence. Now, we don’t need to work so hard to see the wood for the trees; the answer unfolds before our eyes, and the view is both clear and calm. Here, our inner system can trust our Self to step in and offer a compassionate hand to mediate or support the parts that feel provoked, uncertain or afraid. A leader has emerged who is both informed and compassionate, courageous and creative in their approach to solving the problem or fixing the issue. This leader enables us to become more balanced and measured as our default approach, and they are always available and at the ready to offer a helping hand.
The theory behind much of this can initially feel alien and confusing, and so needs the assurance and expertise of a trained IFS professional. Soon, with the proper guidance and a bespoke approach to your individual system, which honours the roles all your protectors play, it can begin to feel like an entirely intuitive process. We start to courageously acknowledge and befriend all of the parts of us that might otherwise have caused us shame, guilt or regret.
In time, we begin to embrace all parts of us and accept the truth of who we are, whilst understanding why we behave the way we do and how we got here in the first place. It is at this point that therapy often comes to a natural pause. When a client feels equipped enough to trust themselves to, at worst, cope, and at best, fly, no matter what life may bring. Off they step into the world equipped with their own inner therapist, knowing that they have the tools to navigate the best path forward for them. I say there’s a pause in the therapy as the door is always kept open in case of a significant life event, tragedy or trauma that needs some careful hand-holding and investigation.
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I am honestly in awe of my clients as they bravely go excavating into the depths of themselves. Here, they uncover the hidden treasures of the truth of their lives and the burdens carried by the younger versions of themselves. Our inner children and younger parts carry so much pain and suffering, as well as so much knowledge and information that we often yearn to remember. The moment Self connects with these children, love is showered on them, and they can transform into the natural pockets of fun, pleasure, joy, and wonder that they were always meant to be.
As I sit openly with my clients, my trust in both their Selves and mine is kept very much intact and is a core component of my therapeutic approach. I offer them a beacon of light because I believe in my own light, and I see their vulnerabilities through my own eyes. We are all connected. My inner sense of Self connects with that of my clients and more broadly with the universal Self as a whole. And there is something magical, transformative, and vibrant there because of this.
I cannot know where our exploration will go, where it came from, or why this is the moment for our paths to intersect. What I can know is that I will remain steadfast in my belief in you as a person, and I hope that soon, you’ll believe in your Self too.
The other thing I value and feel so grateful for is receiving the most wonderful, heartfelt, generous and gracious reviews from my clients, like this one, generously sent to me by Jan after a course of Internal Therapy that ended in April 2025:
“I’ve visited various therapists over the years, costing thousands of pounds, and with very limited results. Being someone with an active imagination (rather than being academic), I immediately took to Lucy’s IFS sessions from day one. Coming out of the first session was like I’d just woken up and seen something clear and simple, yet profound, for the very first time. It was genuinely a WOW moment. Lucy is excellent at talking you through the IFS experience, what it does and how it can help you. Or rather, how you can help yourself. It was the first time in my 60-plus years I knew something was going to change, and it did. Lucy is a genuinely warm, kind and lovely person who is also a superb psychotherapist.”
If you’re interested in embarking on a journey into your inner system on a quest to discover more about your self do get in touch. I can’t wait to meet you.
From me to you,
Lucy x
A Joyful Ending of Therpay
Learn more through these Internal Family Systems Links :
Feel Better Live More Podcast with Dr Rangan Chatterjee and Richard Schwartz
In this Podcast, which Dr Chatterjee describes as “potentially one of the most important episodes I’ve ever released,” IFS is described in detail. You can also listen to a live IFS session recorded during the interview, which shows in detail the depth of the process and the profound healing offered.
Written by Lucy Parker
Integrative Counsellor, Psychotherapist & Coach, MBACP
Level 1 Trained IFS Therapist through IFS UK
Senior Yoga Teacher
https://embarkcounselling.co.uk/
hello@embarkcounselling.co.uk
